More recently, he has been lamming  it down south, where the feds have probably found him. Don’t be surprised if, like  Tacopina, he turns up at Kerik’s trial as a government witness. He did not  respond to an email asking about his non-appearance at the fundraiser.
       With so many friends gone, Kerik turned  to his family, tapping his son Joe, a cop in Newark, to introduce him. 
       “When you  become a target you know who your true friends are,” Joe said.
       Then it was Kerik’s turn. For  someone who, if found guilty, faces 142 years in prison and $4.7 in fines; who  has paid an estimated $2 million in legal fees; and has lost millions in  overseas contracts because the government revoked his passport, Kerik seemed  remarkably upbeat.
       He told  a reporter from the Bergen Record that he had made a mistake in pleading guilty  to two misdemeanors in the Bronx, regarding the $165,000 in apartment  renovations and his failure to disclose a personal loan of $28,000 from Nathan  Berman, a real estate developer. 
       The feds,  he has said, used his guilty plea to, in effect, re-indict him for the same  crimes. 
       In his speech, he called his  indictment “selective prosecution,” and “people overreaching.”
       In closing, he thanked his long-suffering  wife Hala. A former dental hygienist, who was born in Syria, she has  apparently forgiven Bernie his carnal indiscretions. 
       For a time she was so angry at the  government that she wanted to take down the American flag that flies outside  their home, reportedly saying, “This is what the government does to people in Syria.”
       Apparently her anger has not  affected Bernie, who signed off with the words, “God Bless America.”
       
            Big Mike’s Walk Out. Assistant Chief Mike Collins took  the long walk last week out of One Police Plaza, retiring from the NYPD after a  27-year career. 
       For better than a decade, he and his predecessor,  retired Chief Tom Fahey, served, alternately and expertly, as the department’s  public face as commanding officers of DCPI, its public information office. 
       Some of Mike’s memorable moments: 
          
His boss, Marilyn Mode, and her boss, Howard  Safir, submarined him in 1999 because someone had to take the fall for Mode’s  incompetence. So the night after DCPI’s annual Christmas party, they shipped Collins  out to Brooklyn.
          
He signed his  John Hancock on the document denying this reporter a press pass in 2007. 
          
When Your Humble Servant happened  to bump him on the elevator, the six-foot-five inch, 240-pound Collins walked  as fast as he could to escape.